Letter to an At-Risk Youth

Yo: Here’s a Letter to an at-risk-youth, authored by someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

What’s Up Though,

I get it. I understand how you feel, because I’ve been there. The adults in your life are more concerned with telling you what you should do, and what’s good for you, instead of listening. Meanwhile, you’re not thinking that far ahead because other things need to be taken care of now. You’re grown, can’t nobody tell you nufthin and, you’re tired of old people — who don’t understand — talking to you like you’re dumb. You’re far from stupid, that’s why I’m investing time into writing you! Besides, It gets lonely in this cell and I don’t talk to my neighbor, I can’t stand him, but he don’t want no smoke. I have a few years left on this 20 year sentence. I want to get out of here! And, I want to walk out of here with that degree in Behavioral Science. You ever consider going to college? You’re smart enough. It took me seven years to get into the college program at this 200 year old prison. But, I hate it here, you would too!

How you feel matters to me, and you have every right to feel the way you do. You take time to think about the things that matter to you! But, you’re probably just as impulsive as I was? People around you that realize you can be impulsive, will take advantage and try to use you like a weapon. Don’t let them! The first time I drilled someone I was 14, and that happened in the heat of the moment. My friend, at least I thought he was a friend, passed me the pole and said, get him! So I boomed him, with no hesitation. When the homies know you really like that, they gonna make sure you get the stick when it’s go time. I remember those days. I wonder where some of those homies are now? After 15 years in this raggedy joint, most of them stopped picking up when I would call to ask for a dollar for commissary. The mess hall food is disgusting. But I have to eat something when I ain’t got no food from the store and I ain’t getting no packages.

When I was younger, it used to feel good when I came around and people got nervous. That made me feel powerful. I’m not so young anymore. I’m getting old in this cage. I hope to be released before my 50th birthday. I want to share something with you, something I had to learn the hard way. The only way I’ll get out of Sing Sing before I turn 50 is, if I don’t make people nervous when I come around. The fools who want to walk around here projecting how tough they are, can keep their imaginary status and all it brings them — which is a whole lot of nufthin. I want to walk out these prison gates! So, I don’t want people to be afraid of me and what I might do anymore. When I move through this world, I rather be respected. So, I had to learn how to carry myself with self-respect, but I had to reevaluate my value system and make some changes. I was worried about the wrong things and, the wrong people.

I was so busy getting respect in the streets, I had to learn what self-respect and good character meant for myself. I needed to learn what really mattered to me! That was hard, because of my concern for what people, who really didn’t matter, thought about me. Part of my learning process meant getting in tune with myself, instead of doing things in order to gain recognition from others. I also learned that all the people I was trying to impress, didn’t really care about me. Where are they now when I need visits, or money for commissary? I know, I’ve talked your head off, but this is really about you and how you feel. If you’re anything like me, you’re gonna do whatever you want anyway. I just hope you want to be able to make informed decisions for yourself. You don’t want to end up trapped here like me! Maybe you’ve thought about change? Why not ask yourself, What’s important to me? What does self-respect mean to me? I dare you to challenge yourself and invest some time to reevaluate your value system and find out what really matters to you. Or, is that too hard for you to do for yourself?