[{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/posts/","section":"Blog","summary":"","title":"Blog"},{"content":"What Are the Major Stressors in My Life? #According to the text, stress \u0026ldquo;is the non specific response of the body to any demand made upon it\u0026rdquo; (Kalat, 2017, p.402). Taking into consideration how stress is defined, I have many stressors, but will narrow down my list to the root cause. My current confinement in a Max A prison in New York State, is the main contributor of my stress. Although Selye\u0026rsquo;s concept of stress \u0026ldquo;does not include the effects of anything unchanging,\u0026rdquo; Sing Sing\u0026rsquo;s mantra is \u0026ldquo;there\u0026rsquo;s no consistency, but inconsistency\u0026rdquo; (Kalat, 2017, p. 402). This environment is one of extremes, meaning it\u0026rsquo;s either too much of one thing, or it\u0026rsquo;s polar opposite, e.g. hot, cold, humid, dry, and I have no temperature control. The dramatic changes in climate to which my body is subjected, is physiologically demanding in ways I was previously unaware of.\nAn alternative definition of stress is, \u0026ldquo;an event or events that are interpreted as threatening to an individual and which elicit physiological and behavioral responses\u0026rdquo; (Kalat, 2017, p. 402). In reference to this alternative definition of stress, where I reside impacts my stress levels in other ways. Due to the fact I am a victim/survivor of multiple violent crimes, and have been diagnosed with PTSD in the past. What I perceive to be mildly threatening may affect another individual more intensely. However, there may be some things that have an affect on me, but do not trigger a response in that individual at all. I have noticed that, when this place where I am confined has an increase in violence throughout the facility, I go on high alert. It\u0026rsquo;s as if my body\u0026rsquo;s defense mechanism is to be constantly prepared for battle, and it leaves me feeling physically and mentally exhausted by the end of the day. When coupled with the high noise levels and required \u0026ldquo;master counts\u0026rdquo; by security staff, the sleep my body needs to achieve homeostasis is elusive. I also experience a resurgence of suppressed PTSD related symptoms related in the text, like \u0026ldquo;frequent nightmares, outbursts of anger, unhappiness, and guilt\u0026rdquo; (Kalat, 2017, p. 405).\nHow is my Health? #Health is my primary concern, and I have broken it down into what I refer to as the three branches of my health: physical, mental, and spiritual. My physical health has been maintained by diet and exercise; and one of the only concerns I have is relating to high blood pressure, which runs in my family. So, I avoid excess salt intake, drink plenty of water, and engage in breathing exercises/meditation regularly. Funny story, the one time I missed class this semester, is because I went out for a colonoscopy. Due to being frustrated because they took me to the infirmary at nine p.m. Sunday night, my blood pressure was high, and the nurse asked me \u0026ldquo;do you take blood pressure medication?\u0026rdquo; After the procedure was completed (on Tuesday afternoon) and I was waiting to see the nurse on Wednesday morning — before being cleared for release from the infirmary — I had been performing breathing exercises for approximately 10-15 minutes. As a result, after my blood pressure was taken by a different nurse, I was asked \u0026ldquo;do you have low blood pressure?\u0026rdquo;\nAs for my mental health, I\u0026rsquo;m as good as I can possibly be under the current circumstances. I mentioned that my PTSD symptoms can sometimes resurface, so I have started meeting with a therapist recently. Due to the perpetual gym closures in B-Block, I have not been able to exercise, which is an important coping mechanism of mine that helps ensure I can sleep. After realizing how my lack of exercise was affecting my mental health, I had my OMH case reopened. Utilizing the other coping skills already in my repertoire, in conjunction with speaking to a mental health professional regularly, has been extremely helpful — especially since I am unable to hear the voices of my loved ones as much as I would like to, despite receiving a Wi-Fi tablet with the phone app. Some people beyond the walls of prison, do not realize the importance of connection, while being caught up trying to maintain their own balance in a society designed to keep us all unbalanced.\nAs for my spiritual health, it\u0026rsquo;s wonderful. My faith is the primary reason I am able to thrive under such uninhabitable and inhospitable conditions, while practically being starved due to the poison served under the guise of food; and I am definitely being starved of affection from my loved ones.\nWhat Do I Define as Flourishing? #After careful consideration of the text, I have not come across a comparative definition of this term. Being familiar with the word, it brings to mind agriculture, growth, and thriving. What I perceive as flourishing coincides with maintaining proper balance of the branches of our health — our physical and mental health specifically. Too much, or too little of any thing can be detrimental to one\u0026rsquo;s growth.\nIn order for an individual to flourish, they need to find that optimal balance, which our physical frame seeks, called homeostasis. However, there are things that affect us psychologically that can prevent that from occurring. Due to mental conditions, a person can develop an eating disorder, where they either starve, or engorge themselves; and these two extremes can have adverse affects on an individual\u0026rsquo;s physical, and mental health.\nTo avoid this we cannot allow things we have no control over to continuously stress us out — which is easier said than done. Therefore, it is of the utmost importance that we develop productive coping skills, in order to help us manage our stress levels. We must also carefully consider what we place value on, as individuals. It has been said that \u0026ldquo;a person who loves what they do for a living, doesn\u0026rsquo;t work a day in their lives,\u0026rdquo; and we cannot find out what we love to do, without first examining our value systems. That being said, I personally believe flourishing is synonymous with maintaining balance in our lives. I do happen to be a Libra and have an affinity for the scales. Humans need the proper amount of food, rest, work, play, socialization and mental stimulation in order to flourish; otherwise the mind and body begin to degenerate sooner, rather than later.\nWhat is My Next Step? #In my stage reflection paper, I mentioned that I am a planner, and I am personally fond of the saying \u0026ldquo;Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance.\u0026rdquo; I am in prison but do not have the indeterminate \u0026ldquo;L\u0026rdquo; attached to my sentence. I currently have just over three and a half years until my release, and am aware that the habits I have both, maintained and developed — in here — will follow me upon my release. So, I have maintained being a morning person, even though I have not had to be to work at five a.m. in years, and I have developed productive habits like meditation and thinking before I speak — instead of blurting out the first thing that comes to mind. I currently have just about enough time remaining on my sentence to obtain my Bachelor\u0026rsquo;s degree in May 2028, and be released months later in August, inshaAllah. Due to my role in the 2024 Beyond the Block event, I was invited to attend a meeting with the New York State Council on Community Justice, where I received two job offers, of which, I am maintaining contact with the people who made those offers to ensure I remain relevant. Speaking of which, I need to mail something to them this week. I also plan on applying for the scholars program at Columbia University (Justice in Education), where I plan on obtaining a Master\u0026rsquo;s degree.\nReferences:\nGarbarino, J. (2018). Miller\u0026rsquo;s Children. University of California Press. Kalat, J. W. (2017). Introduction to Psychology. Cengage Learning. Trachtenberg, D. (Director). (2024). Prey [Film]. 20th Century Studios. ","date":"December 5, 2024","permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/posts/flourishing-reflection/","section":"Blog","summary":"","title":"Flourishing: Four Questions"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/tags/health/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Health"},{"content":"I\u0026rsquo;m Mustafa, also known as Paulie. I write about identity, justice, and the examined life from Sing Sing, where I study writing and psychology through Hudson Link and facilitate workshops with the Alternatives to Violence Project.\n","date":null,"permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/","section":"Meaningful Mustafa","summary":"","title":"Meaningful Mustafa"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/tags/personal/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Personal"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/tags/psychology/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Psychology"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/tags/reflection/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Reflection"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/tags/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Tags"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/tags/gender/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Gender"},{"content":"In my lifetime I have witnessed a dramatic change in how gender roles are perceived from when I was a child. During my earliest years in the 1980s, gender coincided with the sex that a person was assigned at birth. According to our class textbook \u0026ldquo;gender roles (also known as sex roles)\u0026rdquo; are defined as; \u0026ldquo;the different activities that society expects of males and females\u0026rdquo; (Kalat, 2017, p.173). During generations prior to mine (Gen. X), \u0026ldquo;Gender roles [would] sometimes constrain people\u0026rsquo;s choices,\u0026rdquo; and I am fairly certain this led to identity foreclosure centuries ago (Kalat, 2017, p.177). With the notable exception of the Amazons and the Agogi tribe of Africa, there were not many societies where women were raised to become warriors. Women were expected to be the cooks and gatherers. In contrast, men were basically raised to be hunters from birth, and also expected to be the warriors who protected their tribe.\nAs I reflect on the role gender played in my household while growing up in the Bronx, I realize it conformed to previously set stereotypes. Although my siblings and I were not raised in a primitive hunter gatherer society, gender still imposed limitations on women and men. Mom was the homemaker, and dad was supposed to be the classic hunter protector. My mother did the grocery shopping (gathering), cooking, and housework. Meanwhile, my dad was Mr. Fixer Upper, maintained the weaponry for home defense, and planned annual hunting trips with some of those weapons. That being said, it\u0026rsquo;s easy to recognize how gender roles in the late twentieth century resembled those of our ancestors from bygone millennia.\nIn hindsight, I recognize that mom was forced to pull double duty, because she also worked during the evenings on the three to eleven shift. Before mommy left for work, she would leave the food she prepared for us in pots on the stove. One would be full of rice and the other usually contained curry chicken, or another type of stew. My father headed to work before we left for school, he worked the six to two shift, and got home in the afternoon before we returned home. Unfortunately for us, by the time we walked in the door, dad was already in his cups and had put a dent in another bottle of rum. Apparently men were supposed to drink hard liquor when they got home from work.\nDue to my parent\u0026rsquo;s work schedules, dad was our primary care taker [my brothers and I] during the business week. Considering that taking care of the children regularly, is a duty expected of women, during the era of my youth it must have been considered feminine. As I write this, I wonder if dad viewed being stuck watching the kids after his shift as women\u0026rsquo;s work? There were times that he certainly seemed bitter, and it felt like he would take his anger out on us. However, I also now realize that my dad tried to love us the best way he knew how, considering he grew up in Guyana without his father around, and witnessed his brother die during a swimming accident.\nThe old saying goes, \u0026ldquo;hindsight is twenty twenty,\u0026rdquo; and this reflection paper feels cathartic. It\u0026rsquo;s helping me to see things previously misunderstood much clearer, especially with what I know now. I mentioned that my father was a hunter, so from a very young age I received lessons on how to handle various hunting implements, and watched my dad intently as he performed maintenance on his hunting gear. At home, when Sober dad was around, I controlled my actions and usually planned ways to avoid him at all costs. However, when I was taken on scheduled hunting trips, he was a different man, one I loved to be around. This version of my dad was warm, smiled frequently, and I was extremely comfortable around him as he taught me how to move through the brush silently. I recognize these are things which are considered masculine. Therefore, while in his element there was no reason for dad to exhibit the bitterness he did while babysitting.\nAs I became an older boy, not quite an adolescent, concepts that were drilled into my head began to take on a life of their own. For example, I was continuously told not to cry, especially during moments when I happened to be crying, and I was often deterred from speaking about how I felt, in addition to being told, \u0026ldquo;you have to be tough.\u0026rdquo; As I approached adolescence, I practiced not crying, or talking about my feelings, until these were included in my version of normal. I believe these lessons contribute to the many instances of violent behavior seen in young men; who develop what I liken to an internal pressure cooker of emotions with no pressure release valve. All while their brain development is at a critical juncture because \u0026ldquo;in mid-adolescence everything feels more intense than it does before or after\u0026rdquo; any other period of their lives (Garbarino, 2018, p.46).\nIn conclusion, times have progressed to where we see more women in roles of leadership today than ever before; and our Vice President, Kamala Harris, a woman, recently ran for the presidency. When I reflect on how our earliest ancestors defined gender roles for us, it\u0026rsquo;s easy to recognize there have always been outliers who challenged societal norms. A relevant scenario was depicted in a movie I recently watched, set in \u0026ldquo;the Northern Great Plains\u0026rdquo; of America in \u0026ldquo;1719\u0026rdquo;; \u0026ldquo;Naru\u0026rdquo; a young squaw of \u0026ldquo;the Comanche Nation\u0026rdquo; believes she is ready for her \u0026ldquo;kuhtaamia\u0026rdquo; (literally big hunt) in a traditional hunter gatherer society. The protagonist, played by Amber Midthunder, has a conversation with her mother that went something to the effect of: \u0026ldquo;I almost caught a buck with it\u0026rdquo; her mom says \u0026ldquo;We cant eat almost. You\u0026rsquo;re good at so many other things, why do you want to hunt?\u0026rdquo; To which Naru replies: \u0026ldquo;I want to prove I can become a hunter to those who think I cant be\u0026rdquo; (Trachtenberg, 2024, Prey). While this was a hypothetical scenario in a science fiction movie, where a female character used her smarts to outwit a technologically advanced alien predator, the sentiment of that scene is genuine. Personally, I believe gender roles cannot constrain those who are daring enough to be true to themselves, there are figures who challenged social norms and have been immortalized in the annals of history for the pivotal roles they played; and they also happen to be of the female gender — e.g. Joan of Arc, Harriet Tubman, and Amelia Earhart.\nReferences:\nGarbarino, J. (2018). Miller\u0026rsquo;s Children. University of California Press. Kalat, J. W. (2017). Introduction to Psychology. Cengage Learning. Trachtenberg, D. (Director). (2024). Prey [Film]. 20th Century Studios. ","date":"December 4, 2024","permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/posts/gender-constraints/","section":"Blog","summary":"","title":"Gender Constraints"},{"content":"When contemplating the stage of formal operations, I can\u0026rsquo;t help but juxtapose two common statements: \u0026ldquo;[They] cant think past go\u0026rdquo; and \u0026ldquo;Proper planning prevents poor performance.\u0026rdquo; Sentences that clearly depict contrasting sentiments and invoke radically opposed trains of thought. Theorist Jean Piaget\u0026rsquo;s final stage of cognitive development is the stage of formal operations, in which an adolescent \u0026ldquo;develops logical, deductive reasoning and systematic planning\u0026rdquo; (Kalat, 2017, p. 159). I am most certainly a planner and people who know me are aware of this. \u0026ldquo;According to Piaget, children reach the stage of formal operations at about age 11\u0026rdquo; (Kalat, 2017, p.159). What surprised me is that \u0026ldquo;Later researchers [conclude] many people reach this stage later or not at all\u0026rdquo; (Kalat, 2017, p. 159). My experience leads me to agree with Piaget\u0026rsquo;s theory and later researchers.\nI was attending elementary school in the Bronx, New York when my mind evolved towards the age of formal operations. October is my birth month and I was 11 years old during the onset of 1990. Statistically that was the year New York City had the highest murder rate in the country. The Bronx was comprised of various urban warzones and my neighborhood was not immune to violence, or bloodshed. I describe these conditions because they are relevant in understanding how my young mind adapted. In this environment my survival instinct kicked in and I devised a stratagem to maneuver unscathed in a hostile world.\nViolence occurred often enough in elementary school, but was limited to fist fights resulting in a busted lip, black eye, or nosebleed. To avoid conflict I remember planning my path home early in the day. I would utilize the different staircases and multiple exits of the school building. Then I would take a different route home daily. People had been shot and killed steps away from the intersection on the block I grew up on. As I graduated to junior high the violence graduated too, and students carried a plethora of weaponry to school. Although I was now being desensitized to committing acts of violence myself, I preferred to avoid conflict, and employed the same strategy to get home — \u0026ldquo;if it aint broke don\u0026rsquo;t fix it.\u0026rdquo;\nThe reason I evaded conflict outside is because it was impossible to avoid it at home. My dad was abusive and would \u0026ldquo;lash\u0026rdquo; my \u0026ldquo;backside\u0026rdquo; with his belt, or put hands and feet on me if I came home looking like I just attended fight club. I could not elude my father, so I concocted a different strategy upon arriving home. I would show and prove my homework had been completed, or pretend I had to work in tandem with a class mate. Then escape to the safety of some friend\u0026rsquo;s house, or apartment down the street. My earliest experiences with planning revolved around avoiding embarrassment and pain, while surviving the day. When I reflect on it now, it was rather shortsighted of me, but death lurks around the corner in every urban warzone. As I got older my planning became more regimented and complex. I started thinking long term and received mentorship that led to my attending a training facility in upstate New York.\nFor me, planning came naturally, and I believed everyone shared this capability. However, I have come across individuals who seem unable to grasp the concept. I could not comprehend why some chose to approach situations as if it were impossible for them to think ahead. They seemed to act on impulse without any forethought, and this coincides with what later researchers realized. Some people cannot \u0026ldquo;think past go\u0026rdquo; because they never attained the cognitive level of development required to reach the stage of formal operations. They exhibit a complete lack of deductive reasoning, and often seem irrational due to their illogical approach. Meanwhile, for most of us, planning our days and our future becomes as natural as breathing. As a result, based on my experience, what I have witnessed resembles what was described about Jean Piaget\u0026rsquo;s fourth and final stage of cognitive development.\nReference: Kalat, J. W. (2017). Introduction to Psychology. Cengage Learning.\n","date":"December 3, 2024","permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/posts/piagets-final-stage/","section":"Blog","summary":"","title":"Piaget's Final Stage"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/tags/education/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Education"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/tags/history/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"History"},{"content":"My education began before I ever set foot in any class room, and to this day I keep my mind engaged with learning material. Personally, I view education and the educational system to be two entirely different things. This is because the most valuable lessons I ever learned in my life — four and a half decades plus, on this earth — are not taught in any classroom. I am currently continuing my education and working towards a degree, in spite of being exposed to information that contradicts lessons previously drilled into my mind as a child. So, if I may, let me tell you the story of how I learned the educational system was spoon feeding me fecal matter.\nMy father was the consummate authoritarian, and his training encompassed a vast array of practical life skills. With his thick accent he was fond of saying \u0026ldquo;If yuh dont wanna listen, yuh gonna feel!\u0026rdquo; That was his version of a double entendre, alluding to that old adage of touching a hot stove, and held a veiled threat of the belt. I attended grades k through six at an elementary school in the Bronx, one of New York City\u0026rsquo;s urban war zones. I did well in class if I put my mind to it, but like many children entering grade school, I was easily distracted. I imagine you would be too, if you constantly had to navigate around bloodstains on the sidewalk, but could not escape the abuse awaiting you at home — the one place where you are supposed to feel safe. School, well class really, was boring at first; because reading, writing, and arithmetic had literally been whipped into me.\nHistory became my favorite subject, and this was because it had not been introduced to me at home. It piqued my interest and I soaked up all the new information like a sponge. It was never boring during history lessons as we were being regaled with tales of Christopher Columbus and his three ships. Class was more akin to entertainment, as some of my peers passionately disagreed with the assertions of our teachers, who led me to believe Columbus discovered North America. As fate would have it, our teachers were of European descent, while those involved with the rabble-rousing had African ancestry. Our lessons would later progress — as they usually do — towards the American Revolution, zoom by the Peculiar Institution, and dwell on the Civil war. History was replete with intriguing stories that I found exciting, and kept my young mind buried in a book.\nBefore long, I graduated to a junior high school that was two blocks and an entire galaxy away from my elementary school at the same time. In the halls of grade school there was order, while in middle school it was complete chaos.\nDuring this period of my life, internally, I felt quite a bit of disarray and a need to determine where I fit in. So, I began to seek some enlightenment as to my ancestral history — after looking in the mirror and wondering what racial and ethnic categories I fit into. Unlike most of my peers, I had no other family members within a thousand mile radius, and this was a mystery I intended to solve. I came to learn that I am a first generation American whose parents both hail from the British Colony Guyana, and I also happen to be a mixture of European, African, and Amerindian1. This helped extinguish the confusion I felt, but this information weighed heavily on my adolescent mind. Wondering why no one at home saw fit to help me grasp these concepts sooner, I began referring to myself as \u0026ldquo;a product of the slave trade.\u0026rdquo; Mom thought this was cute, and her words began to make sense — \u0026ldquo;Paul Michael, \u0026lsquo;dis country wih live in, if yuh have a lil\u0026rsquo; black in yuh, dey consida you a nigger.\u0026rdquo; The timing of all this seemed to coincide with the unveiling of some complicated facts relating to my favorite subject.\nMiddle school was also the time when I became aware of the reasons some of my classmates still refused to accept what had been taught to us about Columbus and his ships. For a time, I was unsure of who to agree with, my teachers or fellow students? During my youth, President Reagan would frequently appear on TV and repeat a quote he was fond of — \u0026ldquo;Trust but verify.\u0026rdquo; So, I decided to follow his instructions, and while researching came across strong arguments questioning: how can someone discover a place that was already populated? There were also people who believed that the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria employed criminals whom could have fallen off the face of the earth for all they cared. And Columbus, who is lauded as a hero, displayed his immoral mindset in a letter requesting the weapons and men he believed necessary to conquer the indigenous populace who just welcomed him. Considering what I had recently learned about myself, some of those very \u0026ldquo;Indians\u0026rdquo; who encountered Columbus may have been friends of my ancestors.\nDiscovering these things about Columbus, who\u0026rsquo;s own journal proved he never set foot in North America — after wholeheartedly believing my teachers over my peers — was extremely disheartening. Betrayal feels like a knife in the side from your baby brother, the psychological scars of which endure long after the physical ones have healed. And although my baby brother did not attack and almost kill me until I was 30, that experience is the closest illustration of the emotional trauma I felt after realizing my favorite subject had been filling my mind with distortions of actual events. How many other historical fabrications had I been led to believe? I now felt like I couldn\u0026rsquo;t take what was being taught in any classroom too seriously, and developed a negative mentality towards school.\nNot only did my mentality towards school change, I outgrew my father and would no longer tolerate his abuse. As a result, my formal education was stunted in junior high, after losing faith in the curriculum designed by the Board of Education. So, a suitable description of the process I underwent as a child who entered New York City\u0026rsquo;s Public school system during the 1980s, parallels the title of a now classic album, \u0026ldquo;The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill.\u0026rdquo; However, I love learning new things, and believe it\u0026rsquo;s important, that with proper guidance, we learn how to think critically for ourselves! Surprisingly enough, history is still my favorite subject, and I have learned more by reading books2 you would never find in any public school library.\nIndigenous Carib/Arawak.\u0026#160;\u0026#x21a9;\u0026#xfe0e;\ne.g. Christopher Columbus and the Afrikan Holocaust: Slavery and the Rise of European Capitalism by Dr. John Henrik Clark, Open Veins of Latin America by Edwardo Galeano, and Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome by Dr. Joy Angela Degruy, to name a few.\u0026#160;\u0026#x21a9;\u0026#xfe0e;\n","date":"December 2, 2024","permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/posts/my-favorite-subject/","section":"Blog","summary":"","title":"My Favorite Subject"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/tags/literacy/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Literacy"},{"content":"My journey towards literacy began in \u0026ldquo;the Burnt Down Bronx\u0026rdquo; during a period where graffiti was interspersed on every surface imaginable. I learned how to read somewhere between the house I grew up in and elementary school. I cannot recall exactly when my reading lessons started, but it was before kindergarten, and some of my earliest memories sounding out words involve the daily news and comic strips. A few characters were familiar from the cartoons I watched, like snoopy and his friends. Sometimes I would ask mom what was funny because I wanted to laugh too, and would wiggle my way onto her lap to try and decipher the mystery between the lines in front of her. Mom would laugh again, then say \u0026ldquo;you\u0026rsquo;re too young to understand.\u0026rdquo; This made me feel as if words, well, they were like keys that unlocked much of what was hidden from me, in plain sight.\nIn our own way we all develop an intimate relationship with the usage of words, from the first words we hear, to when we\u0026rsquo;re able to describe our inner most feelings with words to others. While growing up, I noticed, words, well they were everywhere. I was always able to find some form of reading material, whether it was graffiti in the streets, or sitting at our kitchen table. While at that kitchen table, there were hunting magazines that proffered their goods \u0026ldquo;For Sale,\u0026rdquo; at least a weeks worth of The Daily News, and stacks of Shooting Times. We shared an apartment on the first floor of my grandmother\u0026rsquo;s house, five of us, including my two younger brothers. We didn\u0026rsquo;t sit and eat together like the families on TV did, it was more common to find Dad cleaning a shotgun, or rifle at our kitchen table. That\u0026rsquo;s why \u0026ldquo;LONG GUNS\u0026rdquo; was on the license plate of his Ford Bronco.\nI will share a particular memory that resonates with me until this day, although it was so long ago, this version may be slightly skewed. Mom had already left to work half an hour before I returned home from school, while dad got back from the workplace they both shared, twenty minutes before mommy left. My father sat at the kitchen table, glass in hand, with his usual half gallon of Bacardi Dark sitting next to the piles of reading material, and he seemed to be in a good mood. I hoped it would last, it seemed as if his mood always turned sour as soon as he noticed me. I figured now may as well be as good a time as any.\n\u0026ldquo;Dad look\u0026rdquo; blurted out as I searched for my book report in my knapsack, \u0026ldquo;Ms. Salon said I did an excellent job.\u0026rdquo; I was beaming with pride, smiling ear to ear due to the praise received from my third grade teacher. My book report was on \u0026ldquo;the Battle of Zorn\u0026rdquo; where two kids were sucked into a video game, trapped, and had to beat the game in order to escape. Dad wasn\u0026rsquo;t impressed, at all, and grabbed one of his hunting magazines seemingly at random. \u0026ldquo;So, you think you can read well?\u0026rdquo; he grumbled while opening the magazine to a specific article. He slid it in front of me and calmly muttered \u0026ldquo;read this.\u0026rdquo; I began to read the article, which started with a man on the train returning home from work, the day prior to a scheduled hunting trip. So far so good, but being around Dad always made me nervous. I was doing well, until one word tripped me up, \u0026ldquo;swiveled.\u0026rdquo; I thought to myself \u0026ldquo;uh oh\u0026rdquo; that was the excuse dad needed to hurt me — with words, or worse — not that he ever needed an excuse. When I reflect on that moment, I think it\u0026rsquo;s what caused me to lose interest in reading as much as I did, for a while at least. Back then, it felt like I couldn\u0026rsquo;t ever do anything right.\nI learned to avoid my father as much as possible, which led to my staying in the streets longer. When I hit adolescence, I outgrew my father, would no longer tolerate his abuse, and fell in with the wrong crowd. Eventually, I decided to leave home and everything I knew, in pursuit of a GED and vocational training upstate. That being said, as I got older and was no longer in close proximity to dad — whose presence discouraged me — I started reading books in earnest. I could explore any genre I liked without any form of ridicule. So, I read books on history, conspiracy, and fell in love with fantasy. It was like, depending on the author, a good fantasy novel could encompass several genres, comedy, drama, a bit of horror, and romance all rolled into one. One book would teleport me to a different plane of existence, where I could travel amongst the protagonist\u0026rsquo;s companions, and experience every detail of their adventure.\nIt\u0026rsquo;s funny, because when you read fantasy, it\u0026rsquo;s the last place you think you will find practical advice. However, some of the greatest stories ever written delve into moral and social issues relevant in society today. Some of my favorite characters include Jarlaxle1, Durzo Blint2, Kitai3, and Nesta4. They became friends of mine, and helped me realize some things about myself. Like, I harbored resentment due to the abuse endured as a child, but I didn\u0026rsquo;t want to talk about it — or, it was more like I wasn\u0026rsquo;t ready to. While growing up in the Bronx, I was unfortunate enough to witness things that people wouldn\u0026rsquo;t ever want to imagine happening in their neighborhood. So, I began to dig into books on healing from unresolved trauma, and became open to utilizing the exercises found on their pages. Like treasure, I found words developed to help your inner child overcome adverse childhood experiences. Part of the process, required dumping words on paper, to unburden yourself of the most painful things.\nWhoever came up with the idea that words don\u0026rsquo;t hurt, didn\u0026rsquo;t know what they were talking about. I\u0026rsquo;ve been broken down by words, and uplifted by them too. That\u0026rsquo;s how I learned words can be weaponized. The pathways I traversed in life, and towards literacy, have forged me to take everything I do seriously. I feel a sense of pride in how I utilize words to express myself on paper, and am looking forward to honing my writing skills. In order to learn, I was once given some advice I feel a need to share with you now, \u0026ldquo;you have to forget everything you think you know.\u0026rdquo; Dr. Presser will put you through it, because writing well is an art form he loves. Trust the process, it will be worth it! We are tough, and what I\u0026rsquo;ve been through, taught me, as long as you put your mind to it, anything is possible.\nFrom R.A. Salvatore\u0026rsquo;s \u0026ldquo;Legend of Drizzt\u0026rdquo; and \u0026ldquo;Sellswords\u0026rdquo; series.\u0026#160;\u0026#x21a9;\u0026#xfe0e;\nFrom Brent Weeks\u0026rsquo; \u0026ldquo;Night Angel\u0026rdquo; trilogy.\u0026#160;\u0026#x21a9;\u0026#xfe0e;\nFrom Jim Butcher\u0026rsquo;s \u0026ldquo;Codex Alera\u0026rdquo; series.\u0026#160;\u0026#x21a9;\u0026#xfe0e;\nFrom Sarah J. Ma\u0026rsquo;as\u0026rsquo; \u0026ldquo;A Court of Silver Flame\u0026rdquo; and \u0026ldquo;A Court of Thorns and Roses\u0026rdquo; series.\u0026#160;\u0026#x21a9;\u0026#xfe0e;\n","date":"December 1, 2024","permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/posts/words-sponsored-me/","section":"Blog","summary":"","title":"Words Sponsored Me"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/tags/writing/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Writing"},{"content":"About Me #My name is Mustafa Davidson — most people call me Paulie, some know me as Meaningful Mustafa. I\u0026rsquo;m currently incarcerated at Sing Sing Correctional Facility, where I\u0026rsquo;m pursuing studies in writing and psychology through Hudson Link for Higher Education in Prison.\nI\u0026rsquo;m also a trained facilitator with the Alternatives to Violence Project (AVP), working with others to build conflict resolution skills and cultivate healthier ways of coping.\nI believe in the power of words to illuminate, to challenge, and to connect us across every kind of distance. Writing is how I make sense of the world and my place in it. Psychology helps me understand why we are the way we are — and how we can grow.\nSpeaking #In 2024, I presented \u0026ldquo;Cultivating Coping Skills\u0026rdquo; at Hudson Link\u0026rsquo;s Beyond the Block event at Sing Sing — an annual showcase where incarcerated scholars share their voices through writing, music, and public speaking.\nThis Site #This is my personal corner of the internet. Here you\u0026rsquo;ll find essays on topics I care about: identity, justice, growth, coping, the life of the mind, and the craft of writing itself.\nGet in Touch #If my work resonates with you, I\u0026rsquo;d love to hear from you. There are several ways to connect:\nSend a Message #You can send me a secure electronic message through JPay. Create a free account, select New York and Sing Sing Correctional Facility, and search for me by last name Davidson (DIN: 14A2276). Each message costs one stamp (~$0.12). I receive 4 free stamps per month to reply.\nYou can also use the Securus Online portal or the Securus mobile app (iOS / Android).\nPhone Calls #As of August 2025, all phone calls from New York State prisons are free. No setup or account is needed on your end — I can call you directly. If you\u0026rsquo;d like to receive a call, send me your phone number via JPay or mail.\nVideo Visits #Video visits are available through JPay Video Connect at $12.50 per 30-minute session. You\u0026rsquo;ll need a JPay account and a device with a camera.\nVisit in Person #Visiting at Sing Sing takes place Monday through Friday, 8:15 AM - 3:00 PM (you must arrive by 2:00 PM). Weekend and holiday visits rotate based on the last digit of the DIN — call (914) 941-0108 for the current schedule. Up to three adult visitors are allowed per session.\nSend Mail #You can write to me at:\nPaul Davidson, 14A2276 Sing Sing Correctional Facility 354 Hunter Street Ossining, NY 10562-5442\nUse a plain envelope with blue or black ink. Letters and photographs are welcome (no Polaroids). Include your return address. All mail is opened and inspected.\n","date":null,"permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/about/","section":"Meaningful Mustafa","summary":"","title":"About"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/categories/","section":"Categories","summary":"","title":"Categories"},{"content":"A running record of films, press, and public conversations Mustafa\u0026rsquo;s work has been part of.\nBEYOND — a documentary film # \u0026ldquo;That cell is either a cage or a chrysalis.\u0026rdquo; — Mustafa, in BEYOND\nBEYOND is a documentary film about healing, community, and humanity. At one of the country\u0026rsquo;s most notorious maximum security prisons, a group of incarcerated men prepare for a TED-style event that showcases their personal narratives along with ideas for changing the prison system and healing their communities. With unprecedented access to Sing Sing, the film follows the speakers\u0026rsquo; journeys from auditions to their climactic moments on stage. Mustafa is among the men featured — credited on the film\u0026rsquo;s Beyond the Block Talks roster for his talk \u0026ldquo;Cultivating Coping Skills.\u0026rdquo;\nAwards \u0026amp; festival run # Winner — Best Documentary Feature, Oxford Film Festival Audience Award Runner-Up, DOC NYC 2025 (world premiere) Cleveland International Film Festival Milwaukee Film Festival Columbia University Christ Church of Rye NY Division of Criminal Justice Services Re-Entry Task Force, Albany Dominguez State Jail, San Antonio, TX Utah State Correctional Facility, Salt Lake City, UT Where to find it # Official film site DOC NYC festival page Trailer on YouTube Request a screening Instagram: @beyonddocumentary TikTok: @beyond.doc Press # \u0026ldquo;DOC NYC: 10 Films to See at America\u0026rsquo;s Largest Documentary Festival\u0026rdquo; — IndieWire \u0026ldquo;First Trailer for \u0026lsquo;Beyond\u0026rsquo; Prison Doc Exec Produced by Clarence Maclin\u0026rdquo; — FirstShowing.net \u0026ldquo;Interview: Asia Johnson and Michael Kleiman on \u0026lsquo;Beyond\u0026rsquo;\u0026rdquo; — The Moveable Fest Credits # Directed by Asia Johnson, Michael Kleiman Produced by Asia Johnson, Michael Kleiman Executive Producers Clarence Maclin (Oscar-nominated, Sing Sing); JJ Velazquez (Emmy-winning, The Sing Sing Chronicles) Co-Producer Sean Pica Director of Photography Jesse Brown Editor Sasha Friedlander Composer John Tyler Sound Recordist Andrew Litton Associate Producer Palu Abadia Production Company MediaTank Productions Year / Runtime 2025 · 89 min Cultivating Coping Skills — Mustafa at Beyond the Block 2024 #Mustafa\u0026rsquo;s full talk from Hudson Link\u0026rsquo;s 2024 Beyond the Block event at Sing Sing — the same annual symposium documented in BEYOND.\nWatch the full Beyond the Block 2024 playlist\nAbout Beyond the Block #Beyond the Block is an annual TED-style symposium developed by an incarcerated planning committee at Sing Sing in partnership with Hudson Link for Higher Education in Prison. Speakers share original talks before an audience of policymakers, prison officials, and loved ones — exploring vulnerability, healing, and ideas for changing the system from the inside.\nFurther reading \u0026amp; viewing # \u0026ldquo;Beyond the Block: Voices from Sing Sing\u0026rdquo; — first-person account from Sing Sing resident Bruce Bryant of the inaugural 2023 event, published by Action Lab NY (co-sponsor). Beyond the Block: Voices From Sing Sing (2023 recap film) — official short by Hudson Link documenting the first event. Work In Progress Pictures — project page — the production team behind the 2023 short. ","date":null,"permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/featured-in/","section":"Featured In","summary":"","title":"Featured In"},{"content":"These are the organizations and initiatives whose work I stand behind — programs that have shaped my life inside Sing Sing, and movements pushing for a more humane system from every angle.\nHudson Link for Higher Education in Prison #Hudson Link makes a college education possible for incarcerated men and women across New York State. I\u0026rsquo;m currently a student through Hudson Link at Sing Sing, where I\u0026rsquo;m pursuing writing and psychology. Their work is the reason this site exists — and the reason I have the language to put on it.\nAlternatives to Violence Project (AVP) #AVP is a peer-led practice in conflict resolution, communication, and nonviolence that runs workshops inside and outside prisons. I\u0026rsquo;m a trained AVP facilitator and lead workshops at Sing Sing. The work is plain and powerful: people learning, in real time, how to choose something other than harm.\nJay Act Advocacy \u0026amp; Legal Reform Initiative (JAYACT) #JAYACT is a justice movement confronting wrongful incarceration, medical neglect inside correctional facilities, and the systemic failures behind both. Built around the story of Jose \u0026ldquo;Jay\u0026rdquo; Rodriguez, the initiative organizes families, advocates, and incarcerated voices — including Sing Sing\u0026rsquo;s own Raymond Wallace — around concrete legal and policy reform.\nPillars of Promise #Pillars of Promise is a New York-based advocacy organization built around a simple mission: to elevate the voices of currently and formerly incarcerated individuals through advocacy and support. Their work centers writing, public speaking, and direct organizing — making space for the kind of first-person testimony the system has historically silenced.\nAction Lab NY #Action Lab is a community-based organization with deep roots in Ossining and Ridgewood, and a co-sponsor of Beyond the Block at Sing Sing. Their Belafonte Fellowship and arts-and-culture programming make space for the kind of public storytelling that brought BEYOND into the world.\nMake ART Mandatory in K–12 Schools #A petition started by DeShawn Kenner calling for Aggression Replacement Training (ART) — a curriculum currently deployed only after youth enter the juvenile justice system — to be made mandatory across K–12 schools. The premise is straightforward: emotional regulation is a learnable skill, and teaching it early prevents the kind of escalation that ends in harm, incarceration, or loss of life.\nCenter for Justice at Columbia University #The Center for Justice at Columbia, led by psychology professor Geraldine Downey, is a research and advocacy hub working at the intersection of scholarship, policy reform, and the perspectives of people directly shaped by the criminal legal system. Their work brings empirical research and incarcerated scholars\u0026rsquo; testimony within reach of the legislators and courts who decide how punishment is structured — most recently through Ending Endless Punishment and the campaign for New York\u0026rsquo;s Second Look Act.\nEnding Endless Punishment — The Second Look Act Report #The Center for Justice\u0026rsquo;s May 2026 report builds the case for New York\u0026rsquo;s Second Look Act: legislation that would let courts revisit sentences measured in decades, based on who a person has actually become rather than who they were at the moment of conviction. Drawing on criminological research, comparative state experience, and the testimony of incarcerated scholars across New York State, it lands on a premise the system has written into law but rarely honors — that punishment should remain responsive to change over time.\n","date":null,"permalink":"https://mustpdavidson.com/support/","section":"Programs I Support","summary":"","title":"Programs I Support"}]